guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
