I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
