The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
No I am not eating basil off your cock
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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