i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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