I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
