I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
