I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
