i don't like sucking hair
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
