we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
