Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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