whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
