the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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