im drinking this country out of the recession.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize