I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize