I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
