Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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