If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
