I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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