yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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