No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize