her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
