im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
