my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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