Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
