I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Banned from zoo.
Again?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
