Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
