you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
