you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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