Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
