Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
