White coat. Heels.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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