i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
