is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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