I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
