You made me cry and you don't even care
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
