Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
