my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
This is the prime rib incident all over again
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
