O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
