I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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