my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
