It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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