So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
