and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
