Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
