She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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