Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
