i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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