You're earring is so big in my mouth
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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