Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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