I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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