I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
