hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
