Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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