you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Semen is not good for contacts.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
