Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
