you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
