You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
