Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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