I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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