I seem to have left my pride at pride
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
